It may seem chivalry and courtesy are dead. This seems to be the time for political correctness, uni-sex, and rights. Although there is some benefits on political correctness, this mode of thinking can go overboard when there is no distinction between men and women. There are certain times when chivalry and courtesy are proper manners and etiquette. One book, “Letters To Philip: On How To Treat A Woman”, is one book that explicitly discusses on how to be a gentleman by properly treating a woman.
In most cultures, there is a transition from adolescents to adulthood. In the Jewish tradition, there will be a bar mitzvah to signify the transition from a boy to a man. In certain cultures (such as in the deep South), they have debuts and sweet sixteen celebration for the female. Unfortunately, many people would signify the transition from young adult to an adult by going out with friends and getting drunk. It is a transition to be free from responsibilities rather than to be more responsible.
The book, “Letters To Philip: On How To Treat A Woman”, was written in the late sixties. It is quite a short and succinct book that is direct on how a young man (especially before getting married) should treat a woman. This is quite rare in our “modern society”. It was written by Charlie Shedd for his son. It is written as a series of letters where one letter covers a particular topic. Here are the letters with specific topics that are helpful for any young man:
* Take Charge
* Learn to be Kind
* Start at the Mirror
* Ask Her to Help You Grow
* Seven Goals for Communication
* If You Like It, Say So
* The Power of Suggestion
* How to Tell Her What You Don’t Like
* Winning by Losing
* Fragments of Devotion
* “I Can Hardly Wait to See You”
* “Late” is a Four-Letter Word
* How To Treat a Woman in Public
* How Not To Treat A Woman
* Treat Her as a Person
* A Half-Dozen “Nevers”
* And a Few “Try Not To’s”
* Some Moments are Only for Her
* Dialogue on Moods
* Troubles are For Sharing
* Fight the Good Fight
* Rural Wisdom
* Money Maxims
* Clothers, Hair, and Miscellany
* Sex- The Twenty-Year Warmup
* “Except the Lord Build this House”
* The Man Who Had A “Thing” About Guns.
There a lot of lessons and perspectives in a small but powerful book. This is a fantastic book on building a long-term relationship with your wife. It is about investing (not costing) value in a relationship that will reap benefits for her and for any man.